Silver Linings

Sometimes it’s all too easy to jump to the negative. Sometimes, like everybody else, I feel let down, disheartened and disappointed by people… and when that happens I have a word with myself and play devil’s advocate to remind myself that the good is there and not everything is about me! The load is lightened and I feel much more comfortable with the outlook. A heavy heart turns joyous.

‘People only get in touch with me when they want something’ This obviously is not necessarily true, but it sure can feel like that sometimes, especially when we’re perhaps feeling a little lonely.

When people have needed help in some way for one reason or another, they have often been super nice and shown a lot of interest in my life, then when they have what they want, it can all go quiet…. That can leave me feeling a tad deflated initially- but then I think about it properly. It’s nice that someone actually wants my assistance. I can do something of some value. I can help someone- that’s a good thing! I have the chance to do a good deed. And you shouldn’t do nice things to expect anything in return. That defeats the point. You do things for the deed itself and nothing more.

It does sometime baffle me why someone would feel the need to butter me up just to get me to help them- I would hope people know me better than that. I would help anyone just for asking, I don’t need sweetening first. But then you need to look at it from the other point of view, maybe it might have made them feel better before asking for a favor….so let it slide. Could you bluntly come out with an ask? Would it appease your conscience to soften the blow a little? Maybe… so accept the gesture as I’m sure it’s meant. As a little kindness in advance as a thank you.

Then the fact that I don’t hear quite so much from people once they’ve had what they needed- that has a positive spin too. I’ve done my little bit that has contributed to solving a problem or fulfilling a need, and now they’re sorted! ♥ They have everything they need. Life is good and everyone is just getting on with living their lives. That is the best possible outcome you could wish for when striving to help someone resolve an issue or when lending a hand in some way.

Whether it’s a big ask or simple request- it’s nice that people may even consider me their go-to person. Someone people can rely on. That’s not a bad way to be thought of. Dependable. Helpful. Kind. Not a bad way at all. Thinking of it like that makes me extremely happy and feel very lucky.

‘They’re always really moody with me, but nice as pie with everybody else’ This can be hard, especially if you’re on the receiving end. It can be draining and I’ve often been left wracking my brain trying to think what it is that I’ve done wrong- But it does have a positive! This person feels the need to put on a brave face to the world and yet feels comfortable to let that mask slide with you. Something they can’t do with everyone else. They obviously trust you and feel like they can show you how they’re feeling. A bond is there. The situation needs sorting, it’s not healthy and it can’t be sustained. But still they felt comfortable enough with you to show that side to you. Feel humbled, not disgruntled.

‘My friends always let me down’ Everyone has flaky moments, when you just can’t see plans through- there’s a hundred and one reasons as to why you need to rain check. When people cancel, try not to take it to heart. Yes, it can be disappointing, particularly when you’ve been looking forward to something- but life gets in the way.

I feel much happier knowing my friends are comfortable enough to be honest with me. Cancel without fear of me getting the hump. I would much rather that than force someone in to something they may not enjoy. It would be a waste of everyone’s time, effort and money. What’s the point in getting upset?

I can’t expect to be everyone else’s number one priority other than my husband’s and that’s the same for everyone else with myself. No matter what was planned, if my husband needed me, it would be dropped without hesitation.

Friendship and love doesn’t come with a scoring or black mark card. Friends shouldn’t have strikes against their name if they let you down in some way. You don’t hold on to past digressions to drag up at a later date or to validate an action of your own in the future.

Accept life happens, forgive- if there’s anything that requires forgiving- and move on. Don’t hold on to it. I’m more than aware that I’m far from perfect myself. I do need help every now and then, I do need to cancel plans on occasion, I am a moody bugger sometimes and I do expect (and receive) the same positive thinking from my friends and loved ones. I know they’ll be there when I need them, know they’ll be understanding if I have to let them down and they get that sometimes they just won’t hear from me for a spell, because I’ll have a lot on. 

When life makes you act in a certain way or do certain things, you’ll be hoping friends will be understanding and not think bad of you. Extend the same courtesy to them from the outset.

Don’t be too quick to jump to the negative. See the silver lining and be thankful for the small things. Sometimes other people’s ‘negative’ actions are actually giving you a wonderful opportunity to become a better, more understanding person yourself. A gift you need to embrace. And remember, what goes around, really does come around. Always forward on love and kindness because it comes back to you tenfold.

Stay positive and bright 

With much love,

Miss Kimmy Cupcake xx