I (usually) have a really strong stomach and am quite happy to discuss some topics that many would consider ‘in poor taste’. Basic bodily functions and embarrassing situations we’ve all had to endure. I see things in a very matter of fact manner, such things don’t particularly bother me. All just a part of life. With that in mind, this week’s blog contains a story that is a tad grim, so if you are easily disgusted or queasy, perhaps this isn’t for you… 😉
I recently went out for tea with a very good friend of mine. We try to get together every couple of months or so for a good old catch up and to enjoy a nice meal together. We decided to try somewhere new and so went to a American style diner that had been recommended to me. The diner was lovely, great food and the staff were nice and friendly- we had a smashing evening. Plenty of chat and giggles.
We were just finishing up our coffees when I started to feel rather warm and uncomfortable… then I started to feel quite poorly. My friend said we should call it a night and she’d take me home. We went to the counter to settle our bills, where the waitress who had served us was cheerily chatting away while she waited for her colleague to return with the card machine. By this point I was sweating quite a bit and was struggling to chat along. I knew I was going to be sick. I mouthed to my friend that I was going to pay and leave my bag with her while I made a dash up the stairs to the ladies.
I paid my bill and bolted for the stairwell- half way up I had that dreaded involuntary reaction and clamped a hand to my mouth to keep everything contained. I was praying in my head, ‘Please just let me make it to the toilet..!’ Alas, my prayers we left unanswered. As I reached the top of the flight of stairs and turned on to the landing, another involuntary wave came up from my stomach.
Niagara Falls. It was just like the scene out of The Exorcist. No exaggeration.
Holding my hands to my mouth did not help the situation. At all. It sprayed everywhere. And I mean everywhere! I stood there and just blinked in disbelief. I didn’t have long to assess the situation before I knew I had to be sick again. Thankfully, I did make it to the toilet that time. I was in total shock and in a blind panic as I looked upon the horror film scene in front of me! Still feeling really unwell, I grabbed wads of toilet paper and frantically tried to clean it up. The surrealness of the situation hit home and it just made me laugh. What the hell must I look like!? Sick all down my sleeves, in my watch links, on my shoes… I still couldn’t actually believe it had happened. The laughing and jiggling of my belly did not help my situation and I had to break off to go to the toilet again… What a sorry state.
I was cleaning it up as best as I could and running back to the toilet, shoes slipping about on the ‘wet’ floor, throwing the used tissue down the loo and grabbing more handfuls of tissue to carry on cleaning… I was starting to make good headway when I only went and blocked the bloomin’ toilet as well. I just couldn’t catch a break! That again, made me laugh, which in turn made me unwell again. I was actually contemplating taking my cardigan off and throwing it down in a bid to clean it up more effectively..
Then the thing I was dreading the most happened- I could hear someone coming up the stairs! Thankfully, this was right at the end of the evening and I knew there wasn’t many customers left in the restaurant. But still, I wanted to get it cleaned up before I went downstairs to get a member of staff… I didn’t want some poor soul unexpectedly ‘stumbling’ across it.
I called out and told them I had been sick and asked if they could get a member of staff for me… A guy with a rather shocked expression on his face appeared at the top of the stairs, ‘I really, really, really, really need a wee, but as soon as I’ve done that I promise I’ll go and get someone to help you…’ Bless him.
I thanked him and went back into the ladies which is when I actually looked in the mirror. I had splash back across my face and in my hair fanned out like cat’s whiskers, where it had rebounded off my hands when I tried to cover my mouth. Pretty. What must that guy have thought when being faced with me? Good lord! That made me laugh too.
It wasn’t long after I could hear my friend and the waitress came up the stairs. My friend saying, ‘Oooh I think it’s more of a mop you need rather than a glass of water….’ to the waitress. They both took one look at me and we all just started laughing. What else could you do? I felt so awful and kept apologising, but the waitress was a pro. So kind and lovely. She got me a carrier bag for my soaked clothes and offered me drinks, etc. Told me not to worry about it and said I’d done a good job cleaning it up. My friend left her a healthy tip and we made our exit.
I am prone to travel sickness at the best of times and I just knew there was no way I could get in my friend’s car at that stage. We then had to walk up and down the main street so I could get some fresh air and ultimately, find somewhere else to be sick. We found a gutter down an alleyway where I could wretch away to my heart’s content. Such a classy end to the evening. The alley just so happened to be next door to a pub, and I just knew the people walking past must have been looking at me thinking that I couldn’t handle my drink and I must have had a bit too much. I don’t even drink alcohol! Totally sober.
My friend took great care of me and dropped me at my door. I called to my husband that I had been poorly and he took over tending to me from my friend. I really was very unwell and felt awful. Why am I telling you this tale of woe? Well, because what truly is a sorry state to get into isn’t necessarily as bad as it seems or the end of the world for that matter! It all depends on how you look at things and how you chose to react. It was funny. It was gross and unpleasant, but it was still funny.
I could have taken that evening two ways. I could have started sobbing and felt sorry for myself, demanded sympathy from my friend and the waitress, or I could see the ridiculousness of the situation and just laugh. My friend could have chosen to be embarrassed or angry at me for making a show of myself, but she didn’t. She chose to see the funny side. The waitress could have been royally annoyed by the situation, but she chose not to be. She stayed as cool as a cucumber, chose to be relaxed and friendly and helpful and yes, see the funny side too.
You’ve got to be able to laugh at yourself in life. Don’t take yourself too seriously! Quite often what makes a bad situation worse is how we choose to perceive it and how we choose to act. Throwing anger, bitterness, embarrassment and sadness into the mix will often exacerbate and magnify the situation. Choose to see the brighter side, choose to not let yourself be affected by things. Choose to laugh and choose to let it go. Life is just way too short. It’s OK to be the joke every now and then, don’t fight against it. Laugh. And if all else fails, if you’re having a crappy time of it, just think of me skating about the ladies room with my ‘cats whiskers’, soaked clothes, wads of tissue and blocked toilet 😉
With much love,
Miss Kimmy Cupcake xx