Room For Negativity

By Tanya Viala

Being a positive person does not mean that you are positive all of the time. Choosing to be positive means you accept the negative and handle it; of course there is negativity. We are alive and being alive means we have both.

Life happens on a daily which means that there is room for bad things to happen in a day. We have attachments to people, jobs and material things, we are not robots and we can not ultimately switch off from all are emotions. Even if you say nothing bothers you, I believe that is fueled by an emotion too; hate, anger, fear. We are all living, breathing creatures of some form with a heart and whether you choose a positive path or not, things can still shake you. We can not control every person and every situation, although some of wish we could, and when people don’t do what we think they should we get mad or take it personally.

Choosing to see the good things in the rain is not something that comes naturally, but with a dedication to changing your mindset there can be light in everything. I get upset when bad things happen to my loved ones, I can react with pure emotion when I can see bad things happening, but ultimately I can not stop them or make anyone do what I think they should do. Its not that I lie down and take it, I just see situations truly for what they are.

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We have an increasing collective of people in the world that are choosing to step away from the conventional and socially ‘normal’ ways of thinking and living. Some say they choose a path of positivity and I have often spoken about being happy and choosing to react with the power of positivity. However, this is a journey and the happiness is not a destination. I would simply say it is a way to react to life.

With the ever increasing popularity of social media and the internet we have a platform to discover things for ourselves and read other peoples points of views, conspiracies and new ways of seeing the world. I have read things and as I grow as a person I find my own ways that work for me. Often after a given situation I can now think of ways that I could react better and I’m hoping that I can get better at being more assertive and positive in my reactions. Usually when something happened to me in the past I would choose negative reactions and emotions; blame, fear, anger, disgust. All these negative emotions were self depreciating and all that did was all fuel to the fire of the negative situation. As some great dude somewhere said ‘Choosing anger is like holding onto a hot coal and expecting the other person to burn or drinking poison and expecting the other person to die’.

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Suffering is part of life and when we accept this, as hard as this is to accept. When we accept that negative things can happen and things happen outside of our control we can take back power and choose a higher path.  When you realise the delicacy of life and that holding onto the past, anger or thinking about the future takes away from the now, life changes. But it is also accepting that suffering happens. It is one of the four principles of Buddhism and one of the facts of life whatever you choose to do.

Without negativity we would not know positivity, without the darkness we would not know light. So as we have now entered into Autumn we have a chance again to grow. Autumn is a time of transformation and balance, a time to embrace your light and your dark. To be a well rounded person you have to accept your good and bad, your shame and your triumphs, your pain and you pleasure, your angel and your devil. Ying and Yang.  By denying the bad parts of yourself your lying to yourself, we all fuck up, its human, but it’s how we grow from that situation and how we choose to move forward. We all have a past and I regret nothing, everything I have done has led me to this point right now writing and living my life. But this takes work on a constant daily basis, it just doesn’t click right away.

Choosing to be positive does not mean there is no negativity, choosing to be positive is about embracing it all and still choosing to see the good in the shit.

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Kindness, love and honesty rules

Tanya Viala