What the hell is she on about I hear you say? Of course I’ll listen to my mind- that’s my mind, it tells me what to do. Well actually you are the one seeing your mind.
Don’t you ever think about how you can say something in your head and hear it at the same time, so if you are your mind who’s listening and who’s talking, you or your mind?
I always used to live inside my own head listening to the constant inner dialogue and not being able to shut it off and enjoy anything. I quickly responded to situations from this hectic place fueled by the past, emotions and negative thoughts. My mind plagued me with negative thoughts and the more I focused on these negative thoughts the worse they would get. Then the more I focused on the negative the more negative I would attract into my life. A complete negative cycle that I didn’t know how to get out of. I could make up very elaborate tales in my head and total fairy stories about a situation and how it could unfold, often creating a self for filling prophecy with my behaviours and vibrations.
A few years ago, I was having some intensive group therapy where one of the principles they taught me was that ‘feelings are not facts’ and ‘you are not your thoughts’. I didn’t understand it but they also told me that ‘your first thought or feeling is often wrong, so always try to think again before acting’. At that time in my life I was plagued by suicidal thoughts and ideas, I disliked myself and my life. So, I started to question my mind when it told me things like you could just drive into that wall, I challenged it and said’ no I don’t want to do that shut up’, then it would reply and say no you don’t I agree. The mind is very powerful and very manipulative its sole purpose it to be constant and often to soothe you by telling you its OK to do something or stroking your ego to make you feel better about something you’ve done. You can not argue with your own mind that’s impossible to do. The more you tell a thought to shut up and go away the more power you are putting into it and the greater it will grow. The only solution is to practice the art of letting go.
After years of reading I came to the assisted conclusion that we are the watcher of our mind. We sit in a higher state of consciousness than our thoughts, for me this explains so much and I am no longer controlled by my mind as much. I say as much because I do still have the learned tendency to listen and start to feel negative. When this happens, I challenge myself. For example, I was on my way to the gym recently, I wasn’t feeling it but I knew I always felt better during and after, my mind was telling me I should have stayed in bed. Then my mind gets going it will say, ‘you should have stayed in bed’, ‘you don’t have the energy’, ‘what’s the point anyway of training you still look like a bag of wank’…. And so and so forth. In the past I may have listened to my mind. However, I know no none of those thoughts are true but I used to think ‘well if my mind is thinking them they must be true’ right? Well no wrong! When you work on self love, self esteem and self confidence you begin to no yourself better. From this better state of mind, you can challenge these negative thoughts. I knew that I had the energy, I no I don’t look like crap and I know that staying in bed is no good for me so I ignored it and had a good training session. I tell myself that even if it wasn’t what I would deem ‘a good training session’ I was training nonetheless and keeping fit and active.
I try to use gratitude and positive thinking throughout the day from the moment I wake up to before I fall to sleep. The use of positive affirmations is a game changer also. You can literally over ride your mind by repeating a series of words. Some days my affirmations will be ‘I am strong, beautiful and kind’. Today it is ‘I relax, release and surrender’. These words change depending on how I feel that day but they are all positive words to help me try to stay positive and joyful. Before bed is always the hardest as when your trying to get to sleep your mind starts to wonder, when you try to relax or for me meditate I will think about things from years ago. However now before bed I focus on what I want, I use visualisation and I think about Disneyland and our big lottery win, being a published author. I will recall all the things I’m grateful for. I still get stuck in my mind sometimes, it is inclined to wonder and I feel like I’m spinning my tyres somedays. But ultimately everyday I grow and from every situation I can see things more clearly and become more and more awake and aware of my self and my purpose.
I still listen to my mind sometimes too much and respond in the incorrect way that doesn’t serve me and my spiritual growth, but I’m working on it. As I continue to grow I still have hurdles sometimes but I get back up and try again. I’m aware that my feelings and emotions can be an inside indicator that something isn’t right but its how we choose to decipher and respond to this information. When we remove the emotions, and respond from a calm, rational manner there is always a solution. I always remind myself that ‘everyday may not be great but there is something good in every day’. But everyday has the capacity to be great it is all about the way we choose to see the day. With the right mindset, we can see joy even if locked in a cell facing the harshest times. Life is about choosing to stay happy no matter what happens and reminding ourselves that we have the power, we hold the keys and we can change anything we want to inside of us. We all need reassurance and positive self talk and when the mind thinks something negative don’t focus on it, breathe and let it go. Release its grip on you and refocus back to joy, the highest state. My mind has almost killed me twice, and I am so glad it didn’t succeed, its ruined many things for me but that’s the past. Here in the present should be where our focus is; on growth, love, kindness and helping each other. Let’s read kick ass books like ‘The Untethered Soul’ by Michael Singer and ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle and stay in the present moment.
Don’t be afraid to challenge your thoughts, you are the master of your own life! Choose Joy.
Love, Kindness and Honesty Rules